BY DEFINITION: (con-fi-dence): A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances; faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way; quality or state of being certain; stresses faith in oneself and one’s powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance.
Whether you are under-confident or over-confident, shouldn’t matter as long as you have self-confidence, right? Wrong. Being over confident in your skills could bring you to face challenges you really are not prepared for. Don’t boast about skills you truly have never tested or even possess. On the flip side, it’s equally traumatizing to be under-confident. Being under-confident, you sell yourself short and end up talking yourself out of deals, activities, and enjoying life.
“A man who knows everything, knows he knows nothing at all”, an African Proverb.
I know what you’re thinking, “Consult Kelly you said this month was about self-educating, what are we doing talking about our self-confidence?” Well it is, but who’s to say that self-education doesn’t involve reflecting on you? How can you expect to grow your business if you are constantly being stagnant? If you are not setting goals, achieving them, and setting more goals then what are you doing with your life? That also helps build your self-confidence. Knowing that you can achieve a goal you’ve set for yourself and your business, creates a positive internal feeling which boosts productivity and longevity to continue.
Over-confidence is being overly arrogant, narcissistic, and another Kanye West. I’m pretty sure we can all agree we don’t need another Kanye West, or any of his minions, one is more than enough. What is over-confidence? It’s arrogance. What is arrogance? By Webster’s definition, “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions; exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one’s own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner.” Being over-confident is a buzz kill because you are stating that you are worth more than you are and you don’t even know if you are worth it at the point. Its thinking you are better than everybody, like you know it all. Why not be humble? Nobody knows everything. In fact, "A man who knows everything, knows he knows nothing at all", an African Proverb.
Under-confidence is equally traumatizing because you are not believing in your success enough to go after that new opportunity, try that new activity, and take on that new risk. Not believing in yourself is one of the worst things you can do. Why do you want to harm and sabotage your own self? You know you can close that new deal, promote that new service, and start your own business. You’ve been thinking about it for years. You’ve been researching and learning new skills. You have all the tools it takes to be successful. Stop doubting yourself. Whether you have to start saying daily affirmations, creating new short and long term goals, or revamp your whole idea, that’s ok. It’s all a part of being successful. Stop talking yourself out of all of these opportunities. If you couldn’t handle these new ventures, they wouldn’t even cross your path.
So as part of our #SelfEducateSeptember campaign on Instagram, confidence is something we can all afford to educate ourselves on. There are many people who lack the confidence needed to be as successful as they want to be, but can build their confidence. There are people who are overly-confident, who can maybe teach others how to be more confident, and those who are under-confident can teach those who are mini-Kanye’s to be more humble. It’s all about balance and staying true to yourself.